Swamped

Argh! I hate final's week. I actually feel overwhelmed by all of this. Just one more day, and I can finally kick back for a while 'till I have to write my provincial. I hate the fact that you can find out your final test marks the day after you write the test. It really hurts it to find out you bombed a FINAL test. I'm lucky I didn't fail some courses even though I bombed the final. Ugh.... I feel like I've let myself down a bit.

AHHHHHH!! OK!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'VE LET MYSELF DOWN ALOT!!!! Wow, that feels so GOOOOD! My parents are so passive about it too. They're just like me--too soft to say it to my face. I blew quite a bit of their cash on a tutor thinking I could do better. Ugh, but they're just happy that I passed. I bet you think that my parents are great. But... Argh, they make me feel like an idiot! They say things that make me feel like I don't have a shot in a blue moon of ever achieving anything.

"Oh, but you passed right? As long as you pass. THAT'S IMPORTANT!"
"Sure you can go for it, if you think you can do it."

It's like they're just pretending to go along with everything I want, just to please me--like a kid trying to live a fantasy. I don't think my parents believe in me. I know it's kind of wrong to think of it, but I do want to prove myself to them, I hate being talked to like the only thing that comes out of mouth is diarrhea. Just when I thought I could make something of myself. It's so hard to believe in yourself when you think everyone is just waiting for you to screw up. I hate this week so much...